August Rain!

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Regular office day (not near a window) seems mundane!

It’s 12’o noon and a regular day at office. Half day is passed by and few hours are left to finish her day at office. She takes her beautifully painted magenta colored coffee mug by India circus, in her hands. The warmth of the cup relieves her from chilling office cubicle. Rain pours down from the sky, and mist covers the window by her seat as she sips her favorite rose green tea. She isn’t fond of green tea but she isn’t fond of masala tea or coffee either.

She looks out of the window from the 12th floor of her office building. She sees a man running in the rain. She sees a bunch of colleagues going to the famous sutta corner of cyber hub. She sees a sari clad girl walking slow, taking each step carefully and protecting her saree from getting spoiled in rain. Soon her mind wanders in her own world and she is drifted to her thoughts.

Thoughts that come rushing to her every now and then. Though she works in a big MNC and she is always surrounded by lot of people around her but she still feels lonely. She escapes from eyes of her colleagues and start scribing something in her notebook. No one knows her habit of scribing. No one ever noticed. At least she thought so. Unaware of the fact that there is always someone watching you and admiring you for who you are.

She keeps her mug down and picks up her pen. She is fond of pens. Those fancy pens that flow as smooth as butter on paper. Every time she visits a stationary shop, she admire at the shine of those fancy pens but their price leave her crestfallen. The one she is holding is a regular smooth flow ball pen. She likes it too but someday she wish to buy one of those fancy pens.

She stares at blank paper of her thin spiral notepad, the one that employees get at office and a check on count of it for an employee is kept. She stares at the blank paper for a long time, the noise, the people, and everything around her has come to a standstill for her and she starts writing something on it. There are no thoughts in her mind just her pen and pain; and she starts scribing whatever comes to her mind. Most of the times her writing comes that way. It just come from nowhere and makes a perfect sense to her, describing her solace.

She leans down and keeps her head on her left hand on which she is wearing her father’s Fossil watch that has her father’s initials inscribed on it. She is a watch lover too. No, she doesn’t like fancy watches but she is fond of simple watches made by watchmakers. She wishes to wear world’s best watchmakers’ watches on her hand. She watches her hand flowing on the paper and writing words. The curves of words gives her immense pleasure. These words and curves belong to her, she thinks. Her love for writing is from her childhood days that started from first poem which she wrote for her mother. She had a flair for creating verses but travelling made her a story teller. She now enjoys creating and writing stories. She tries to find stories in every moment, in every person she meets.

When she is wrapped in the blanket of her thoughts and spilling out words from her mind, there’s a guy sitting right across her seat and watching her. He is a shy guy from a different state with a different language but the same fire for travelling is burning in his heart as hers. He doesn’t know if she too is fond of travelling but he is swayed by her simplicity, her cotton kurtas and bindi that sticks between her bushy raw eyebrows.

Watch this section to know what unfolds in their lives.

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Beautiful Goodbyes!

I want to grow old with you
I want to die lying in your arms
I want to grow old with you
I want to be looking in your eyes
I want to be there for you, sharing everything you do
I want to grow old with you

Her phone played this song from her playlist when she was struggling to concentrate on her studies. Her mind wandered back to the day when she shared this song with him. Good old days! It was just five months ago when Kabir confessed his love for her. She had thought herself as the luckiest girl on this planet. Showing him her favorite things, reading to him her favorite stories and poems, going to her favorite restaurants, eating her favorite food, making him listen to her favorite songs; she showed him her naked soul. It was the first time she opened up that much with anybody. Though they started on a condition but soon that condition seemed like a past and he himself said, “Zafu, every time I meet you I get more attached to you. Just the thought of us not being together frightens me. I just want us to be together forever. I love you!”. “I love you beyond this universe”, she would say back. Whenever he used to think of separation, his eyes would be filled with tears. Zafirah was strong but one thing she couldn’t do was to see her loved ones crying. She used to hold his hands and say, “hey! I’m not going anywhere. I’m here. Okay? And I’m going to stay forever, till eternity. We will wait for each other’s parents to agree to it. Okay?”. She meant it, every single word. She knew her parents will never allow her to do this but she has always been like this. She knew what she wanted in life. Kabir was more than her wish. Kabir was her life. She once told him, “Kabi, within very less time you have become as important to me as my parents”.

In spite of all this togetherness and happiness, there was one thing that constantly kept her worried. She was elder to him by six years. It’s just six hears, she would say to herself. Kabir will take care of it. Trust him, believe him. Within last six months she has indulged herself in lot of self-talking.  She was a rebel from heart and she always thought of doing things differently. She has led her life on her own terms with the principles and values given to her by her family, her father and mother.

Amidst all this there came a very tough time on her and her family. Kabir was there, all the time. She grew more close to her. From good morning messages to goodnight kisses, they shared each and every moment of their day with each other. They were irresistible! She hated going to malls but she planned her every meeting with him in a mall thinking it’s him who is important and not the place. She had travelled world on her own. Her favorite place was amidst mountains. She always dreamt of having a small house there. But she thought she could live anywhere on this earth as far as Kabi is with her. She was ready to sacrifice her dreams for him.

It was different now.  They had decided to part ways. Kabir’s mother didn’t agree to their relationship and he wanted to end it. She was broken! She kept quiet. She didn’t say anything to him. Just two words, “I understand!”. Actually, there were things which she never understood. Not that why his mother didn’t agree or why he ended it but something else. It was something else that disturbed her.

After few days of last call, he finally called her up to meet him last one time. Reluctantly, she got ready because she herself wanted this to end on a sweet note. She wanted to keep good memories of this relationship. She knew that Kabir had already moved on and she was a girl who would never force anyone to stay in her life. She was loving, humble and kind but she was also very stubborn.

IMG_20180501_133840_518Finally, they met at a restaurant in CP. No holding hands, no hugs, no kisses; just a formal hello. Hiding her tears behind her smile, she asked him about his family and he asked her about her parents. There was an awkward silence. She still thought that Kabir would hold her hand and say “Zafu, let’s run away. Everything will be alright after some time”. This was just her thought. Kabir then broke the silence by saying that “I’m sorry. I feel guilty”. His voice wasn’t trembling. There were no tears rolling down from his eyes. Her mind drifted to his words which he said few weeks back with tears filled in his eyes. She was confused. Her heart was in a dilemma of trusting to what he said earlier or what he was saying now. She had been a good listener always. She kept listening to him. He just had one thing to say that we started on a condition. Condition, that if our parents will agree then only we will get married. She had lot to say but she wasn’t able to bring words out of her mouth. She kept listening. When Kabir was done saying whatever he wanted to say. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth, “But ma never met me, Kabi. My age cannot make me less good or less kind. My age cannot make me a bad person. You could have at least made her meet me. This way I would have thought that you made efforts to keep the relationship. You moved on very easily. I once told you that I was like a bridge on the river that stayed and you were like a passenger who crossed that bridge. My words were true. I loved you, Kabi. And a part of me will always love you.”

She then asked him if she could drop him to the metro station for one last time. He agreed to it. Before he could get off from car, she released her seat belt, turned towards Kabi, gave him a tight hug, kissed him and said I love you. She wanted to cry out loud but she controlled herself. He stepped out of the car, came near window and said “I loved you too. I’m sorry”.

It was a beautiful goodbye for her. Unfortunately, it was just in her mind. He never called her up to meet. He never made an effort to at least protect the friendship they shared. I’m standing by my words even after you are gone.  I once promised you to give my words and I’m doing it even when you didn’t stand up to your promises.

 

 

Art of sharing

20160605_203908Lately, I’ve learned that everything we do is an art. There’s art in sleeping, talking, speaking, walking and in every action that we do. I’ve also come to believe that each of us as a human being is a piece of art in itself, created by the Supreme power. And we all are beautiful in our own way, irrespective of our shape, color and caste.

Of all the arts, I loved “Art of sharing” the most. I call it an art because it is not less than any art. It just not comes like this. Like all other arts, one needs to practice this art. Sharing may be anything; knowledge, time, money, food, just anything. In the process of sharing, you might feel hurt or betrayed. Don’t worry! Pain is temporary. Do not let anybody stop you from learning and growing. It might take a life time to learn how to share even when you’re hurt but continue to do it anyway. That is how you’ll emerge above all the shackles of hatred and that is what will make you feel alive. Hatred or jealousy kills you little by little. Being alive is a miracle! You’ve to love life and sharing is the most important part of it. I’m in process of learning this art and I hope that some years from now I could say that I’ve learned a little bit of it. 🙂

The little girl and airplanes!

20161110_164636When Zafirah was small, under the winter sun of every 26th of the January month, her father use to take her to the terrace of the house and show her flying planes, the fighter ones. Since then the flying planes in the open blue sky and sound of it has always fascinated her. She smiles whenever she sees the one in sky!

Today, standing on the terrace of her office, amidst all the noises around, she could hear only the airplane sound. It made her smile! She reminisced those days of watching the planes; clapping and jumping with happiness. She has grown up now and doesn’t like to let the eyes of people around to fall on her by over reacting but inside her heart there is still that little girl alive who jumps and claps with the sight of planes. She is the little girl and airplanes under the open sky still give her immense pleasure.

Zafirah And A Stranger!

Zafirah was waiting at Mumbai Airport to board a flight for home to Delhi. She had gone through the security check and was waiting for boarding signal for her flight. She never travel alone! She always have a loyal company of a book with her. Taking a seat in front of the notice board where flight schedule was displaying, she made herself comfortable and took out a book from her bag, “Forty Rules of Love”. The more she reads, more she gets drowned in Shams words and his rules. Not noticing a stranger by her side, she kept on turning the pages of a book.

_DSC0041“Hello”, said the stranger. Bringing book down from her eye level and looking with amusement at stranger! There was a tall, fair, slender man with unkempt hair. He belonged to a foreign land!  She said, “Hi”.  “Going to Kochi?”, asked Stranger. No! I’m traveling to Delhi, replied Zafirah. Later realizing her mother’s words of not giving any details to strangers. He is a foreigner (she thinks), Mom said to be careful from strangers from India. She laughs on her thought and starts reading again. “What are you reading?”, asked stranger. Ohh! It is Forty rules of Love by Elif Shafak, replied Zafirah. Hmm! Another love story!, stranger mumbled. “Oh no no! It’s not a love story. I mean, yes it is a love story, but it is about eternal love.”, said Zafirah. Aah! “Eternal Love”, said stranger laughing. “Where are you from”, asked Zafirah. “I’m John from Land of Midnight Sun, Finland”, replied Stranger. Wow!, exclaimed Zafirah. Her little eyes filled with excitement. She wanted to know more about Finland, but kept quite instead. She didn’t want to show her excitement to John.

“So what all places you have seen in India?”, asked Zafirah. Oh! I have seen Delhi, Agra, Hampi, Orchha, Gwalior, Amritsar, and many more. I’m in India from last 6 months on a spiritual rejuvenation, replied John. Zafirah was impressed with John. She wanted to ask him about his travels. While she was thinking of ways to continue her conversation with John, he asked her to join him for coffee. Today God is listening to me (she looks up and smiles). Two cappuccino, John ordered as service boy came to take the order. How do you know I like cappuccino?, asked Zafirah. Well! you like books. And readers have old connection with cappuccino!, said John. Ahan!  I see (quite impressed).

I forgot to ask your name, said John. Zafirah, she replied. Za-fee-raah! I liked the sound of it. So tell me what do you think of love?, asked John. Zafirah laughs and after pause of few seconds, she says – For me love is a feeling which fills a person with kindness and purity. Love and life exists in everything on this universe. The outer beauty may lose its charm with age, but love will only grow with age. Nice! Do you love someone? You can ignore my question if you think it is too personal, said John. I have a wild dream of seeing the world and I don’t have time to get into a relationship. When Zafirah was replying to John’s question of loving someone, she had only one name on her mind.

Announcement for boarding for Mumbai to Kochi was made. John paid the bill and got on his feet to board his Kochi flight. He leaned towards Zafirah and mumbled in her ears – You are a girl with a dream and you need a man with a vision. He then left, waving his hands, and saying Good Bye to Zafirah. Zafirah stood frozen there, thinking about John’s words.

Love and Chandratal!

It was 09:00am and scorching sun of May was above already. Zafirah lazing in her pajama, reluctant to get out of bed, reaches for her phone and check notifications. Her eyes suddenly pop out when she sees an event of Astro Photography to Chandratal Lake. She immediately calls Kabir.

“Trin trin”,

Hello, speaks Kabir.

What’s up Kobi? (That’s what she call him as for her love for Tagore and Kabir both)

Kabir still in bed juggling to get up says, “Any normal gray collar working guy at this hour of a weekend would be sleeping peacefully in his bed until he has a little demon like you in his life”.

There’s silence for few seconds. Kabir instantly senses the awkwardness of the moment and asks Zafirah about the matter.

“We’re going on an Astro Photography tour to Chandratal”, says Zafirah.

Kabir didn’t ask any question from her as he trusts her traveling plans and says OK for it.

Finally, the day of the journey came, they both boarded bus from R.K.Ashram Marg to Manali from where they were suppose to travel in a tempo traveler to Chandratal.

Monsoon makes everything around look beautiful, especially the cool breeze that touches the peeping face from the bus window. The journey from Manali to Chandratal was mesmerizing along with Kabir’s amazing playlist that he had played in his mobile. They managed to reach Chandratal in morning when the reflection of the blue sky, clouds and mountains looked so surreal that tears rolled down from Zafirah’s eyes. Kabir held her hand and put her head on his shoulder, drowning them in the beauty of Chandratal. Zafirah have always loved these kinds of moments of silence with Kabir and he knows it. Understanding her calmness in her silence he says, “Chandra is just like you, Zafi”. There are very few times when Kabir speaks his heart out. Today is one such day, thinks Zafirah and asks him what did he mean? Kabir held her hand tightly, brought her closer to him and said –

Chandra is beautiful, Zafirah! Just as you.

Everything about her, its color and hue

Reminds me only of one person, and that is you

You have the calmness of it in you

The emotions as deep as her that carries the tenderness of love

Dreams as wild as wild daisies around her

Hope as high as its mountains

The blue color that carries the look of a well mannered lady

And reflects her love for nature around her

Onlookers admire her beauty in awe

But when touched, create ripples around

Chandra is gentle, Zafirah! Just as you.

Chandra is beautiful! Just as you.

 

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Beautiful Chandra!

Zafirah was in utter silence now and not knowing what to say just turned to Kabir and hid her in his arms. Kabir kissed her forehead and both spent hours together sitting there absorbing the mountain sun and Chandra’s beauty.

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Starry Night at Chandratal!

The sun had begun its fine descent into the unknown, and the distant sky was flaming orange, when they both started walking towards their tents. Within no time, the bright milky way was on their head with trillions of stars. Having simple rice and daal and taking astro shots with fellow photographers they found a desolated place for them to sit and bask in the light of stars. Zafirah said, “Kobi, we’ve been told since childhood that people who leave us become stars in sky. Is it true?” Kabir knew exactly what was going in Zafirah’s mind. He said,”Zafi, Let’s find three most beautiful stars out there in the sky”. Zafirah didn’t say anything but tried locating fourth little star too that went unborn. Somehow she was at peace because she knew all the four stars were watching her from above and were with her.

The planning that started from scorching sun of May ended with smiles under starlit night of Spiti and love blossomed between them. 🙂

Little by Little

Every morning, she gets ready for office. Unwillingly though! Not because she doesn’t like to work but she fears from the after effects of being judged wrongly at office. Zafirah is a fun loving girl! But she has her own definition for fun loving. She is talkative but loves to be quite most of the times. There are things that go in her mind and she keeps contemplating on them unaware of her surroundings. She tries to stay calm but bursts sometime regretting later and apologizing for her act. She wants to be good and kind and helpful.

Recently, she has been going through turmoil of emotions. She has lost three very close people from her family. “Death rephrases the life of everyone who’s near”. At this time she wants someone to just embrace her quietly and say nothing, someone who understands her and her silence, who can just hold her hand and pamper her like a lost child.

Life is not being fair to her. From losing people to not finding a new job and finding herself daily in a choking environment, she is dying little by little every day. Everyone has a different motive and a different meaning of life. The motto of her life is to travel as much as she can and the meaning of her life is to see her parents happy. This isn’t too much to ask for, she often thinks. She wishes someone could just see her weeping heart and her tears that she has been hiding from world.

Zafirah isn’t good in expressing her anger to anyone. So she stays quiet, letting the time heal the pain. That pain may be unnecessary, that she has created for herself as a result of her over thinking. But after all, a pain is a pain. You cannot stop someone to over think about a situation because that’s a nature of a human with which he/she has been raised.

Solitary

Courtesy – Google Baba!

She has been taking in the unwanted shit so much that little by little she is now exhausted. The arguments, the explanations, the reasons, ifs and buts hurt her too much. She rather takes herself in her own world of silence where she tends to ignore anybody that tries to drag her to pool of questions and arguments. She has never been so cold to her surroundings especially the human race or rather the known human race. She has become more open to strangers and introvert to the people she know.

Mistaking her silence, someone criticized her of being sad all the time. But that is all she has become little by little. Socially awkward she has become little by little!

Thoughtful Friday!

Courtesy - Google

Do not categorize a person as fat or slim, tall or short, fair or dark. Let the person be himself or herself. On one hand there are posts about breaking the stereotypes. On the other hand the same websites are stereotyping the body size and color. Social media is taking us away from respecting individual and celebrating individuality. We all are living a story written by God Himself. And as every writer wants his story to be a success, God, too wants His every story to be a success. Some get success early in life and some get late. Do not stop. Have faith! And walk the path of struggles to achieve that success. Pray for your and everybody else’s strength to live their story with dignity. Be kind!

Tryst With Love!

I asked LOVE,
What is Love?

It smiled and said –

I am the Bliss that lies in knowing the Truth.
I am the Rainbow that is formed by reflection and refraction of light in water droplets.
I am the Petrichor that accompanies the first rain on parched Earth.
I am a Dew drop on leaves that marks a new beginning every day.

I am one’s Satisfaction that arises on giving a helping hand.
I am the Mother’s warmth for her child.
I am the Tender touch of a Father.

I am a Book for a reader.
I am a Pen for a writer.
I am a Poem for a poet.
I am an Imagination for a story teller.

I am everything,
But not the pleasure you get from materialistic things.

I fill your heart with more LOVE,
Eradicating all the hatred in you.

Realization of TRUE LOVE will make you more humble, kind and patient towards LIFE.

An Encounter With Nida Fazli!

It was a fine Sunday! I woke up to the sound of rain drops on the window pane. What a relief rain brings to a scorching earth! I opened a newspaper, as I sipped a cup of hot coffee. I usually read headlines and then the matter, only if the headline interests me 😛 Turning pages of the newspaper, I stumbled upon a headline “All that will be left unsaid-The pleasures and pain of watching Masaan”. I knew Masaan was a new bollywood movie that was released last Friday. So  I decided to give it a read. The article was interested, but what interested me was the mention of Urdu poetry used in movie. I now had got the task for the day! I then downloaded and watched the movie. It is a beautiful movie, Indeed! And I was introduced to Nida Fazli’s poetry. So the task for the coming week was to explore Nida Fazli’s poetry, a name that was unknown to me a day before.

I listened to many of his ghazals, mushaira’s and poetry on youtube. I got stuck on two lines from one of his poem and a story behind these two . And this story is the only reason for this post. Lines are as –

घर से मस्जिद है बहुत दूर चलो यूँ कर लें
किसी रोते हुए बच्चे को हँसाया जाये

A mosque is afar from our place, instead
Let’s go and make a weeping child smile

How beautifully Nida has written these lines. So the story behind these lines is – He had written these lines after the Bombay riots in 1992. He read the poem in a gathering in Mumbai. When he left the place and came out, some so called religious people gheraoed him and asked him the meaning of the above two lines in his poem. They asked him – “what do you want to say? Is a child bigger than a mosque?” Nida replied to there question  by saying – “I don’t know whether a child is bigger or a mosque is bigger. What I know is, that a mosque is created by a man, and a child is God’s creation”. What a lovely reply and a thought! No doubt, society needs many more people like Nida.

 

 

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